Doha Adventures, Part I

So, like, the other night I was hanging out at the Villagio Mall in Doha, Qatar. I was just enjoying the beautiful canals,


























and watching the gondolas float by gently,






































when I met this Iranian dude named Sultan. We exchanged glances and fell immediately in love. He swept me off my feet, dropped me in a gondola, and rowed me home to his palace.























At first, he was wonderful. He showered me with expensive jewelry,

and let me play with his priceless, fake falcons. (Whatever.)

But after an initial period of delirious honeymoon joy, he turned evil. He started to force-feed me opium from this priceless opium cup.

(In case you didn't believe that was an opium cup. Dear reader, I would never lie to you.)

I put up with the opium abuse, but then it got worse. I discovered that he had bestowed a priceless necklace on my former roommate, Karen (the Shameless Hussy)!

(Doha Adventures continued in next blog post)